Botch Job Society
”Botch Job Society” is a celebration of life’s missteps and miscalculations. Hosted by Ramero Starks and Chris Brueggeman, two enthusiastic non-experts, this podcast delves into the humorous and humbling world of failure. Ranging from bad movies, blundered products, and even hands-on failures, it’s a no-holds-barred exploration of what happens when things don’t go as planned. Sometimes, the best stories come from the biggest blunders.
Botch Job Society
Culinary Chaos: Hilariously Bad Recipes (Part 2)
3/28/24
Botch Job Society
Episode 5 - Culinary Chaos: Hilariously Bad Recipes (Part 2)
WATCH THE VIDEO VERSION ON OUR WEBSITE.
Buckle up, food enthusiasts, because we’re about to take you on a hilarious jaunt through the culinary cataclysm of the internet’s worst-rated recipes! In the second part of our culinary misadventures, we dive into the doughy depths of despair where we tackle a cookie recipe rated so bad, it's almost criminal. Will these cookies be a surprising delight or a crumbly catastrophe? The outcome is as unpredictable as our cooking skills. Join us for an episode filled with suspense, snark, and maybe (just maybe) edible cookies.
[0:00] Recap
[01:20] Intro
[01:52] Merch Ad
[02:52] Chris Begins Baking
[16:51] Taste Test
[18:24] Sum Up and Outro
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Botch Job Society is produced by Rock Opera Studios.
Speaker 2:Previously on Botch Job Society.
Speaker 1:So what we're doing is cooking two recipes, but these recipes are the worst rated. I don't know how I feel about that yet.
Speaker 2:You're probably used to. You know you boil the noodles on the side or something. We're just putting this straight in the pan with the cheese. I don't really know what's going on. You wonder, when you see recipes like this, chris, like who comes up with this crap? You know this is so stupid. I don't know why you're trying to make it good man.
Speaker 1:With the amount of cheese in this. They don't want us to poop later.
Speaker 2:That might be one of the most disgusting looking things I've ever seen in my life. Delicious these noodles aren't softened up or anything. What is this that we're cooking here? I've never not wanted to eat something so bad in my life. It's really good.
Speaker 1:Burning smell on the top is not pleasant.
Speaker 2:Like initially you want to say, oh, it's not terrible, and then you keep chewing and you're like, oh, it is. This tastes really bad. It's just straight cheese.
Speaker 1:That's that fontino.
Speaker 2:It's cheese, but it's just.
Speaker 1:I keep saying it. It's just burnt dairy, it's not good.
Speaker 2:I'm sure you're very glad that you watched it. Now you get to see what Chris has in store for us. Let's move on to dessert this one here. Let me tell you what he's a Philly. Can you see how maybe it would have been a failure. Before we get into that, let's talk about merch man.
Speaker 2:Look at what you have on right now. Why would you be wearing that? Throw it out. You could be wearing this, or, better yet, what about this? Or maybe even this? There's actually infinite possibilities here. Walk with me. Talk with me. You don't even have to buy shirts. You can buy pillows. We got blankets. We don't have blankets. We got Snuggies. We don't have Snuggies. We got blankets. We don't have blankets. We got Snuggies. We don't have Snuggies. We got coffee mugs we don't have mugs. Now, I'm not gonna throw this, because this is a perfectly good pillow. You see we have so many options here at Botch Drop Society. So go to the link in the bio, check out the website, scroll on over there where it says merch and buy away. Buy four things, I'll give you the fifth one free, no guarantees. I'm a shysty salesman. Go buy some merch.
Speaker 1:So now that we had our entree, so to speak, it is now time for dessert. So this is actually titled Worst Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe. We'll see how bad it is Based on just looking at the ingredients. The only ones that stick out to me are the cornstarch and the maple syrup. Those don't seem like typical chocolate chip cookie ingredients, but we'll find out if that's the case. So first step is to melt and cool butter five minutes. I don't know what that means, but this is a lot of but is this typical?
Speaker 2:I'm not much of a baker.
Speaker 1:Okay, cuz it seems like a lot of butter.
Speaker 2:I think so, though, but Now we put the butter in the microwave.
Speaker 1:Start with a minute. Okay, so the next step.
Speaker 2:You might be surprised at how quick that butter melts.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's why, well, and of course I'm this high and my microwave is that high, I have to jump. Next step is to stir the butter and the sugars together. So let me get the sugar measured out. So I need half a cup of normal sugar. Come on, okay, half a cup, that's a lot of sugar. Check on the butter Okay, it should be fine. A cup and a half of the brown sugar, that's a lot of sugar. And of course, we got the maple syrup still coming.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:I believe it's not butter, just get a little mix.
Speaker 2:You almost look like you know what you're doing.
Speaker 1:Nope, I don't think I'm a very good cook or a very good baker, so if this recipe isn't already terrible enough, I'm probably going to mess it up with my skills. So it was a cup and a half of packed brown sugar. I probably need a spoon.
Speaker 2:Look at all that brown sugar.
Speaker 1:The only brown sugar I need is behind the camera. Glad that was well received. Okay, that is our cup. You should see the way that just plopped in there. And then we need a half. I feel like mine's going to be a lot messier than yours is. You have way more to do. Yeah, I do have a lot more to do. I have one pan and that is the half Into the bowl. Into the bowl. See, baking always requires more tools, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Which I find annoying.
Speaker 1:Alright, watch this pour that good butter pour Mmm, and then we're just gonna stir.
Speaker 2:And then we're just gonna stir, there you go.
Speaker 1:This is already not feeling familiar. I can't say. I've made chocolate chip cookies many times.
Speaker 2:You didn't bake a lot growing up with family or anything, not really.
Speaker 1:We were more the. Let's get the Pillsbury pre-made ones and just pop them in, Throw them in the oven. Yeah, but this doesn't seem right to me. I mean, I don't know if you can see this consistency, but it's a little it says, okay, stir together butter and sugars, but it doesn't say I don't think the sugar is gonna dissolve, add eggs, one at a time. There's two of them.
Speaker 2:Can you crack an egg with one hand?
Speaker 1:No, wait, you mean like going and then yeah. I could try.
Speaker 2:So us, we're gonna get show us how good you are.
Speaker 1:Oh, I got shell. It's not part of the recipe. There we go this one's crunchy. They might be crunchy, the amount of sugar that's in here. All right, real gritty All right, take two See if I can do it a second time there you go. That's better, yeah, but now my hand's covered in yolk.
Speaker 2:Small price to pay.
Speaker 1:Oh, one at a time. Okay, so I've already screwed it up. Okay, well, we'll just see.
Speaker 2:Oops, I didn't want to backseat drive.
Speaker 1:No, please.
Speaker 2:I need all the help I can get. There you go oh.
Speaker 1:God, a little too rigorous Whisking, I think, alright.
Speaker 2:Something that is going to become a part of these episodes. I feel just need to throw botched across the screen. The same way, wasted pops up on GTA's kiddie's die yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, I would say that's pretty well blended. It still sounds very grainy, but I think that that's intended. Okay, delicious Vanilla extract and the maple syrup, because this doesn't have enough sugar in it.
Speaker 2:You ever heard of maple syrup?
Speaker 1:in a cookie it's a weird In a chocolate chip cookie. Yeah, the whole episode is gonna be me just trying to take this off. Ow my eyes, I start turning into a vanilla bean. The thing about vanilla extract is it always smells so nice, but have you ever taken? That's just too much, too much sugar.
Speaker 2:Like you're mixing while horseback riding, all right. The color is consistent with chocolate chip cookies, but How's it smelling?
Speaker 1:Mm overly, the maple syrup's gonna probably overpower it. Like it smells, just like just straight maple syrup. Yeah, okay, okay so I have to mix the wet ingredients Like it smells just like straight maple syrup, okay, okay. So I have to mix the wet ingredients with the mixture of flour, cornstarch, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Just going to get that going.
Speaker 2:This is going to make a lot of cookies. Does it say how many this recipe is intended to make? I don't think this one did.
Speaker 1:You might need a bigger baking sheet. Yeah, I don't think we're gonna. I'm gonna have leftover, leftover cookies that no one's gonna wanna eat.
Speaker 2:Maybe you'll be surprised and they're gonna be actually really good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know. Okay, and then baking soda and then salt. I don't even really like chocolate chip cookies that much. How could we have known that a monster was living among us?
Speaker 2:How dare you?
Speaker 1:I know, I know this is what I'm gonna be doing after I eat them, or maybe after that mac and cheese?
Speaker 2:possibly this is not looking, yeah. So what happens when you don't mix in the eggs wanted?
Speaker 1:it to Somehow. I don't think that that was the problem. Okay, there you go.
Speaker 2:Now it's getting chunky.
Speaker 1:But it's still so powdery I definitely did the right amount Three and a quarter cups of flour.
Speaker 2:These are Griselda Blanco chocolate chip cookies. No big deal.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. Do I need to use?
Speaker 2:my hands. I was just thinking you might need to, Should I? Should I get in there?
Speaker 1:You might be able to keep if you keep mixing you might be good you might have to trust the process. Okay, maybe I use the spatula.
Speaker 2:Looks like you're about to make pasta.
Speaker 1:Oops, this does look a little bit like pasta. Okay, let me. Oh, this was a bad idea. Oh no, this is a terrible idea, oh no. All right, I think I'm gonna have to go in with my hands. Okay, it's not as powdery as it was before. How am I gonna get this off my hands? I got an idea. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh geez.
Speaker 1:That's a thumbnail. Yeah, alright. Most important step Chocolate chips. Chocolate chips. Two cups, which is a lot. Well, maybe not. I keep saying everything's a lot, this is a lot of, but is this typical? This is going to make a lot of cookies, which is a lot, but maybe it's just my inexperience. Oh no, it's a lot. Oh no, it's a lot, don't worry. Alright, as you feel. Mmm got that one, mmm tasty, we'll do one more Tasty. So I'm going to use this quarter cup excuse me, this quarter cup scoop to replace an ice cream scoop, because I do not have one. Could I have gone out and gotten one? Sure, but we don't do that here.
Speaker 1:Shame on you, I know all right. Place two to three tables teaspoons two inches apart. Cook for 13 minutes in a 350 degree oven. Okay, we are preheated already. I have my cookie sheet. There's a piece of sheet. I'm probably going to edit that out. Should I grease this, do you think?
Speaker 2:Maybe a little cooking spray? Yeah, a little quick dab. I always do yeah because you't know. Should I grease this, do you think? Maybe a little cooking spray? Yeah, a little quick dab. I always do yeah because you never know, all right, there we go. Jesus.
Speaker 1:Is that too big? I don't know how big cookies are supposed to be. It doesn't say I don't know how big cookies are supposed to be. It doesn't say I don't know this one might turn out.
Speaker 2:I really hope Yours looks way better than that mac and cheese. I'll tell you that.
Speaker 1:I kind of hope it doesn't turn out. So now that we've got we've got one, two, three, 12, 12 cookies here we're gonna put them in the oven for 13 minutes at 350. All right, set timer, all right those are going and we'll be back in 13 minutes, maybe. All right, so the timer just went off for our worst chocolate chip cookies. I'm gonna take them out of the oven. I can only use one because I gotta put it on the thing Shh.
Speaker 2:Do you want that towel back?
Speaker 1:No, no no, it's fine. Okay, a little more wrinkly than I was expecting, don't they look a little more Shush A little more. Oh, there's some nice powder there. They look like a desert, like a desert landscape a little bit Not as smooth as you'd typically see a cookie.
Speaker 1:Yeah, doesn't mean they won't taste bad, but already, based on presentation, not a lot of confidence so far. So we gotta let these cool. Looks like SpongeBob's grandma. Spongebob, I always okay, so where's that mom? Total side note where his mom, but also his mom and his dad, I thought they were cookies. They look like sponges, but we have to let these cool. Well, once these are Cool enough, then we will have a taste test and then eat them.
Speaker 2:So stay tuned One eternity later.
Speaker 1:It's another moment of truth, whether these are the worst cookies or if they'remeh.
Speaker 2:Damn it. Is it actually pretty good? They're pretty good. Yeah, there you go. Let me see what we got here.
Speaker 1:Okay, try it. Still a bit warm, but they're not the best. They're not terrible, though. No, I think there could be something to kick them up a notch, but I don't know why these are rated so low. I think these are maybe a three and a half four at best.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, I'm kind of mad that I'm not mad at these. Yeah, me too. I'm also like what's going on. You see how he set me up, guys. He gave me the mac and cheese, which was at best 1.5 out of five, and then you get the cookies. It's like, eh, if I were to rate it probably three and a half, maybe a four.
Speaker 1:I'll tell you what I'm disappointed that they weren't worse, but oh well, I'm shocked.
Speaker 2:All right, so that was the botch job version of Top Chef. Essentially, my dish, this lovely mac and cheese some of you may know, because you're probably going to come over after this and try some, not knowing that it's not good. My dish one out of five, 1.5. No real flavor to it, just cheese.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so yeah, mine wasn't great, chris you on the other hand, yeah, I'm kind of disappointed that this turned out so good, because Like they're not bad. No, I would serve it to people and I don't think anybody would think twice about it. You know what I mean. So I'm kind of mad that this turned out so good. However, I am glad that I found a recipe that I can now make. That I know won't be a disaster, but, yeah, I wish this was worse. It's weird to say that, yeah, but it's kinda true.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna see if I can find some more bad recipes.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And next time I'm gonna make sure it's bad.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and next time I'm gonna make sure it's bad. Yeah, yeah, I actually asked my ideas about that. Yeah, so this was Top Chef Bot's Job Edition and I'm gonna go enjoy more of these cookies and peddle off this mac and cheese to make people think it's good. I can't wait to see their reactions when they try to pretend that it's good and it's terrible. Click that subscribe button.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:If you're on YouTube, click the bell as well. Make sure you get the notifications when we post. Hit the website down in the bio as well. Subscribe to the Patreon. If you really love us, I'd appreciate that and go buy some merch. We'll see you next time. Bye time.
