Botch Job Society
”Botch Job Society” is a celebration of life’s missteps and miscalculations. Hosted by Ramero Starks and Chris Brueggeman, two enthusiastic non-experts, this podcast delves into the humorous and humbling world of failure. Ranging from bad movies, blundered products, and even hands-on failures, it’s a no-holds-barred exploration of what happens when things don’t go as planned. Sometimes, the best stories come from the biggest blunders.
Botch Job Society
Culinary Chaos: Hilariously Bad Recipes (Part 1)
3/22/24
Botch Job Society
Episode 4 - Culinary Chaos: Hilariously Bad Recipes (Part 1)
WATCH THE VIDEO VERSION ON OUR WEBSITE.
Ever wondered how a seemingly simple dish like Mac and Cheese could turn into a culinary catastrophe? Join us as we laugh our way through the trials of making what might be the internet's worst Mac and Cheese recipe. Picture this: a cheese-to-noodle ratio that defies logic, an oven timer that seems to mock our efforts, and a texture that prompts a collective gag reflex. As we recount each step of this food fiasco, find solace in our shared disbelief and the comedic gems that only a kitchen disaster can provide. No guest dared join us for this episode, but their absence only gave us more room to lament and chuckle over our pasta gone wrong.
[0:00] Intro and Opening
[3:37] Mac and Cheese Recipe
[13:32] Check-In
[14:06] MidwayPoint
[17:12] Final Product and Tasting
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Botch Job Society is produced by Rock Opera Studios. Hey it's me. I just wanted to let you know that if you are hearing my voice right now, you can actually watch this episode on YouTube and, trust me, for this kind of an episode, it definitely is worth watching rather than listening. So make sure to check out our YouTube channel. You can find the link on our website or you can go to youtubecom At Botch Job Society.
Speaker 2:This one here. Let me tell you like he's a failure.
Speaker 1:Can you see how?
Speaker 2:maybe it would have been a failure. Alright, guys, unconventional intro. Today there's no couch, no headphones, no colorful microphones. We're gonna cook. We're gonna cook some really bad cooking, but before we get to the fun, tell the people where they can find us.
Speaker 1:You can find us everywhere at Botch Job Society. That's Facebook. I almost said Twitter. It's always Twitter, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok threads and I think that's it. They're really good. We probably didn't post it in the video.
Speaker 1:I was very ready for a six-in-two All right, but yeah, at Bosh Shops Society, you can also check out our website, boshshopssocietycom. I would highly recommend it because there are lots of interesting things on there to check out, not just the episodes, but we've got a Hall of Failure put up there where you can get more detail about some of the things that we're experiencing, and there's a merch store on there as well, and it's really just the one place to go to find out more and try to support us, which we desperately are in need of.
Speaker 2:So yeah, I need support. I don't get enough at home. Also, it's a beautiful website. Yeah, it's just a very nice website, so I'd appreciate if you took the time to look at it. Buy a t-shirt please. All right, let's go cook some bad food. What do you say? Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1:So what we're doing is cooking two recipes. We're doing a sort of an entree dinner and then we have a dessert, but these recipes are the worst rated. One of them is from all recipes and the other one, I think, is from the Food Network. At least two stars, no higher than three. So you know that these are not going to be well received.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're probably going to be really gross.
Speaker 1:Well seeing the ingredients list. Not even the ingredients list, just the instructions.
Speaker 2:The process. Yeah, what is this? If you're familiar with social media in general, you've seen videos of white women cooking very bad food.
Speaker 2:And it's like that has to be on purpose, because many jokes as you make about white people cooking, there's no way that's really how you'd cook that. Yeah, that's what we have here today. So, like I said before, making really bad mac and cheese, like you see the white ladies on TikTok do. So this is all I'm using, all right, I'm not cooking any noodles, I'm not making a roux, I'm not, as a black person, if you're watching this, don't take my black card. This is not how I would make mac and cheese. Just so we're clear. I'm just going to follow the bad recipe. It's what? Two stars, two and a half, something like that. This one's two and a half, two and a half. All right, I can't read. Bear with me. Oven's already preheated. We're good to go.
Speaker 2:Now. I'm just going to place these blocks of cheese in here. You know what? Let me be a good cook. Wash my hands a little bit. We'll be right back after this message. I got some cheese here. I don't know if either, if any of you are familiar with fontina cheese. Never heard of it. I'm going to take a small little dab of this to taste it, but we're going to throw the whole block in here. Can I open this without cutting it. No, I'm not. Note to Chris for future reference. I got big hands, man. You're going to need some bigger spoons than that. Oh, sorry.
Speaker 2:I thought my finger was going to get stuck. All right, I do have some. Do you want some? No, it's fine. It's fine. We're just going to take a small little chunk off the end here. All right, that didn't come out as planned. Cut that in half. I'll take some of this cheese.
Speaker 1:Hmm.
Speaker 2:I don't know how I feel about that yet. I'm trying to figure out what it's similar to. It's similar to something yeah, now let it sit on my palate for a while. Fontina cheese boom, right in the pan. Now we got some sharp cheddar. Okie dokie, I've put my two blocks in the center of my pan. Ah, pour the pasta. How many cups of pasta is this? Even? All right.
Speaker 2:Now the interesting thing about this recipe again, it's one pan, so you're probably used to you boil the noodles on the side, or something. If you're a Velveeta guy, you boil the noodles and spray it, put the powder in there, or something. We're just putting this straight in the pan with the cheese. I don't really know what's going on. Two cups of uncooked macaroni I'm measuring a cup, and all my chingolang is going on here with all the cups. Cup one into the bowl, boom Cup two into the bowl. So at this point I've got my cheese and my dry noodles. Now we are ready to Let me see. Pour half and half directly on top of the pasta. I have to spread it evenly around the cheese, though. Hold on, you wonder, when you see recipes like this, chris, like who comes up with this crap? You know. I hope that what you cook is gonna be much more like understandable. I can't believe that I'm doing this right now.
Speaker 1:Now do you?
Speaker 2:just put it around the cheese, or on top of the cheese, I don't know, spreading evenly around the cheese All right get off my cheese blocks.
Speaker 2:You all saw me wash my hands in our quick intermission. All right, don't come at me about my dirty, grubby hands. I would say this is pretty evenly spread. This is actually pissing me off already. Doesn't make sense. Okay, pour our half and half. How much half and half do we need? One and a half cups, See what I did there. All right, that's one cup. This looks so good. This is so stupid. That's a two thirds cup. Here's my half. Forgive me for all my clanking around. Here's my half cup. I didn't claim to be a professional when it comes to bad cooking. Now, regular cooking, I would have killed it. This, we're just gonna make a little bit of a mess. So I got my half and half directly on top of the pasta Stir until evenly coated. So all right, we're just gonna improvise here.
Speaker 1:Do you want a real spoon?
Speaker 2:No, it's fine, maybe, yeah, I'll take a real spoon. What do you got over here? Yeah, there we go. I'll give you a big one, big old spoon for a big bowl of noodles. You ever stir dry macaroni. It's kind of like when you're wanting to, you know, when you first pour a bowl of cereal and you want to crunch it down in there.
Speaker 2:It's not at all like that. It's not nearly as satisfying, it's actually kind of gross. Just gonna really get in here Watch me stir. It's hard to stir something when you got two blocks of cheese right in the middle and you told me to spread it evenly and then I'm gonna pause and then I'm sitting here like moving it all around. All right, I'm gonna consider that stirred it's not supposed to be good mac and cheese anyway. If it were, they would have done it the right way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know why you're trying to make it good man it's hard to attach my name to something this odd.
Speaker 2:Okay, I stirred my half and half in there. That's good old cracked pepper here, just open already. Yeah, there it is.
Speaker 1:With the amount of cheese in this, it's like they don't want us to poop later.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're gonna feel this one.
Speaker 2:For a couple days maybe. Yeah, gotta get an adequate amount of pepper in there. Let's breathe that in, get a good sneeze going. You know what I mean? All right, peppers in there, salt. Nothing says improvement like salt. I guess this recipe is not gonna get better. Doesn't matter what you put in it. It's always hard to tell how much salt you're putting in, especially when it's covered in milk. Can't really see. I'm always a fan of salt. Later we're just gonna maybe one more little dash. A little bit of extra came out there, all right, so now I'm gonna sprinkle with my cheese, which one Both of my cheese is actually. So I've got some white cheddar and some mozzarella. That was backwards. This is white cheddar, this is mozzarella. I'm gonna use a fourth cup of each. I think like if you actually know how to make macaroni and cheese, nobody really monitors like, oh, you need precisely this much cheese.
Speaker 2:You just kinda go with it. So we're gonna put a little extra, just slightly. We're slightly gonna break the rules. This podcast is bought to you by nine experts, so I'm not gonna be too strict about my measurements. Right, that's my white cheddar there. Seal that back up. Don't want your cheese getting dry and hard. You know you gotta lock the moisture in. Now we are onto our mozzarella, which is a fresh batch. Share this open like the Leviathan.
Speaker 2:That I am All right, let's get into it. You know I actually fun fact used to really enjoy Food Network, Not to the point that I thought about pursuing culinary arts or anything, but like I used to love watching chopped emerald Rachael Ray, all that stuff. Any of you guys watch this and you know wanna throw me some cutlery, I'd be down. Let me host the next cooking show. This is all messy. This is a shame. Okay, All the cheese is in there. Now what? We just throw it in and bake Apparently. This is dumb. This is actually upsetting me and my homegirls. Try to spread this cheese a little evenly, Make sure every little piece, because you know that you got the big blocks right in the middle. That's the foundation, but you want the sprinkled cheese to cover everything in between.
Speaker 2:That's just one fourth cup doesn't feel like nearly enough of either cheese, but at the same time you have a huge block in the middle.
Speaker 1:That's gonna be my problem.
Speaker 2:Grab a paper towel here. Some of this milk around the edges off, all right, so now we're gonna pop this bad boy in the oven for 25 minutes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for mac and cheese. This is gonna take a long time.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Because it's 25, and then you stir and add the milk, and then another 25.
Speaker 2:Right and then another 25. Whereas you know, maybe if you just cook the noodles and then already had your cheese melted down, like you should, you just pour it over the cheese, mix it in, pop it in the oven for a little bit, just to get a good browning going. You know, but these people don't know nothing about mac and cheese. It's all good, now we put it into the oven. Ah, myself I love to watch when I cook. It's there a light? There's gotta be a light button here somewhere, right? Guess not, there is. Am I blind? I am, I don't have all my glasses, guys. Yeah, there you go. 25 minutes. Let me set my timer. Come on, is that the timer?
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, I've never I I've never seen a timer. I've never seen a timer.
Speaker 2:I've never seen a timer, I've never seen a timer?
Speaker 1:I've never seen a timer. I've never.
Speaker 2:I just use my phone, yeah man, you know you gotta embrace the full experience. So I guess I'll take a quick little break and kill some time while I wait on my mac and cheese. I got more coming. Stay tuned. We had about four minutes left until this disaster is finished. I'm just gonna take a look real quick before we pull it out and stir it around. Do you want to get in here? See what this beautiful thing looks like? That might be one of the most disgusting looking things I've ever seen in my life. So in a minute here I'm gonna pull it out, stir some milk in it and then put it right back in for another 25 minutes. Oh, do you guys hear that it's time to pull this mac out? So, guys, it's time we're gonna pull this thing out. See ya, okay, I heard you. If I can get both of them, it's on, mmm, smells delicious.
Speaker 1:It doesn't? It smells pretty bad.
Speaker 2:If you want to, can you shut your mouth? We got it on this camera here. We're gonna have some other cameras seeing it. It doesn't look great. It doesn't really look appetizing whatsoever. Not something I look forward to eating. Now we're gonna put some milk in it and stir it.
Speaker 1:See a half a cup, because you know we need more dairy in there. Yeah, if there wasn't enough.
Speaker 2:Like Ew, you know what I mean. Like it's just, it's not great, pull a little homelander action here, boom, if you know, you know, try not to make a mess this time. Half cup of milk here into the pan.
Speaker 1:I cannot get over this melt.
Speaker 2:It's just a little too cheesy. Yeah, it's a little too cheesy. We're gonna toss that in the sink. Put our cat back on the milk. Oh, that's all the milk. Get that out of it.
Speaker 1:No, okay.
Speaker 2:That was all the milk it needed. Yeah, it's literally just half cup. Okay, which I mean almost. Why Like? Why do you even this Fidego cheese? What is this Fontina? It's not melted. Why are you still talking?
Speaker 1:about it Because it's free. Oh okay, Got it.
Speaker 2:These noodles aren't like softened up or anything.
Speaker 1:I mean it does have another 25 minutes to go.
Speaker 2:They're still solid, but is this that we're cooking here? You are tuned into the non-experts network watching Bot's Job Cooking and get in close on this.
Speaker 1:You see this cheese.
Speaker 2:This is like a cheese stick.
Speaker 1:Oh wait, Look at that.
Speaker 2:Good pull, tasty. I could just that's not what you want Barf in my mouth right now. He mixed this all around. Was I even supposed to mix it?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Okay, I had to make sure and cook until it's golden and bubbly. Not going to happen, brother, I don't know. I just actually got to make him want to throw up.
Speaker 1:This isn't good.
Speaker 2:It feels like there's not nearly enough noodles versus cheese. Yes, it's too cheesy. Yeah, just a little too cheesy. Get this oven open and throw this back in here A little longer than a few minutes later. It's time to get some nasty Matt going. I'm telling you this isn't gonna be good. It's not gonna look good either. Good and soupy. It's like a steamy cereal, mm tasty. All right, let's see what we got here. Oh, it's golden brown. You know, I'm not gonna lie. If I didn't know better, I'd think maybe it'd be okay. Okay, shut up, don't rush me Now. The real problem is you wanna stir it because you feel like it needs to be stirred? Yeah, but at the same time, when you get a good mac and cheese out of the oven, you really just gotta get your corner and go for it. I feel like I need to just admire what we've done here today. You know this is. It doesn't smell as bad now as it did 20 minutes ago.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it's a little more cheesy. Yeah, mm-hmm Ugh, although I still think it's just burnt milk smell.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:A little bit. Or burnt cream from the half and half. If we can just get a little yeah, it's not even okay. I also don't think the crust is gonna be cooked. I think it's gonna be a little crunchy.
Speaker 2:It says crunchy Yummy. I've never not wanted to eat something so bad in my life. Mm, it's really good. Mm-hmm. Yeah, chris, get in here, let's swap. Yeah, I think I'm like you.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, just it's. It's just the burning smell on the top is not, is not pleasant Okay.
Speaker 2:It's getting real good on this bite. Oh, oh, there we go. It's just, it's just, it's just, there we go.
Speaker 1:It's so greasy too. Yeah, this it's probably because of the. The cheese that's used might just be a greasy cheese, but it just looks so greasy.
Speaker 2:I like this one, you're nasty Mm Like initially. You wanna say oh, it's not terrible. And then you keep chewing it.
Speaker 1:Oh, the aftertaste is really bad.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's just straight cheese. That's that fontino.
Speaker 1:It's cheese, but it's just, it's just I keep saying it it's just burnt dairy, it's not good and some of the pasta isn't cooked either.
Speaker 2:No, it's just hard. I think I wanna like it, cause I'm actually very hungry.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:This is just not. I bought my appetite hoping that it'd be something decent that we were thinking of cooking up today, and it's just not. I'm no bangers.
Speaker 1:It isn't a banger.
Speaker 2:So there's the one pan mac and cheese. I'm sure you're very glad that you watched it. Now you get to see what Chris has in store for us. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Move on to dessert.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna be right back.
